My sweet daughter...

It took nine months to finally meet you,

I waited as my belly stretched and grew.

Out came little you -

precious, tiny, and new.

The moment I laid my eyes on you

my heart exploded with feelings brand new.

I felt a love I never knew;

a mother's love that is just for you.

nothing cuter than baby feet!

Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad...

So, I am a member of a few mommy groups on Facebook. Very often (too often IMO) I see women posting about how much their significant other/babies father is, well, pretty much useless. They always say how they are stuck doing everything - from cooking, to changing the babies diaper, to cleaning the whole house (even cleaning up after the man) while the man just sits back and relaxes. They often complain how when the baby is crying the father can't be bothered to check on the baby.

I honestly do not know how women can deal with that shit and let their man get away with it. Honestly, I would say fuck it and not do anything other than take care of my baby. I am not cooking you dinner, I am not washing your dishes, I am not ironing your clothes (personally, I never iron), etc. If you cannot be bothered for one second to take care of YOUR child, then I am not obligated to take care of you.

It is crazy how we don't know how a man will be with their kids until the time actually comes... Some men you would think would be great dads, but when the times comes, they cannot step up to the plate. Other men you would assume might be shitty fathers (for lack of better wording) but end up being amazing dads!

Basically, what I am trying to say is, just because a man is successful, married and w.e doesn't mean he will be a good dad, and the same goes for the opposite.

When I was pregnant, I honestly did not know how Fabian would be. I assumed that he would be a rather good father, but I was always thinking that his love for video games would cause him to ignore his daughter because he'd rather play them (this is what a lot of the mothers in my groups tend to complain about)... Much to my surprise, that is not the case! I guess daddy's little princess stole his heart and his attention. I am so thankful that he is a great dad to our daughter, and that I do not have to be one of those women bitching (and they are rightfully doing so) about my useless, deadbeat of a baby daddy.

True love 

"I hope I have it that easy..."

That seems to be what all my friends and any female who knew I was pregnant said to me.

Yes, I had the easiest pregnancy ever (not trying to brag). Yes, it is possible for pregnancy to be enjoyable!

I never had morning sickness, I never had crazy 4am cravings for peanut butter pickles (or anything for that matter), I never got swollen feet or swollen anything. I didn't have emotional roller coaster rides. My back didn't hurt and I didn't really need to wear maternity clothes either (I just stuck to leggings). Guess I missed out on all the pregnancy fun.

If it wasn't for my forever growing belly (which was hugeeee by my due date, I would probably have forgotten that I was pregnant most the time.

I worked up until I delivered (ok, I had a desk job, so it really isn't all that complicated)

Now while my pregnancy itself wasn't complicated, I did feel rather alone. Major life events really show people's true colors, and can help you see who your real friends are, and who can and cannot be counted on.

Sadly, majority of my "friends" totally forgot that I existed, or so it seemed to me (still seems that way to be honest). The saddest thing that I learned while pregnant is that I do not have one single female friend who I can call a best friend or whom I am really close to. This actually rather upset me, and was the only time I was really emotional. I learned this because of my baby shower. Generally, when you get pregnant, your friend(s) throw you a baby shower. Not one single person offered to throw me a shower (so I did it myself, with the help of a select few friends whom I am extremely thankful for). I guess I am to blame tho, because I never got close enough (apparently) with any of my "friends." My baby shower was honestly the most stressful thing about my pregnancy (I'll make a separate post about that).

I feel like I am going off on a tangent here,. I just want to say that I do feel rather lonely. It is very hard to accept the fact that I am almost 23 and do not have a single person to turn to for anything and everything. I really need/want a best friend, a friend for life, a friend to be there for me through everything, a friend to just come over and hang out or go out with.......

(8months pregnant)

Birth Contol is 99% effective...

Of course I had to be that 1% that gets pregnant!
Thank you LoLoestrin Fe for giving me exactly what I was trying to prevent, a baby (not that I would have it any other way but stillll...)

I remember it was March and I've noticed that my boobs very feeling very uneasy - they were sore, tender and hurting. At first I thought, I guess I'm getting my period, but then I realized I never get these side effects, I rarely get any PMS...something is wrong!

So after a week of contemplating and asking my friend if I should take a test, I finally decided to take one. I bought a clearblue pregnancy test and went to piss on the stick (I kept the stick but it got thrown out when we moved and for some reason I can't find the pictures of it! So sad) even though I already knew the result. What did I get? A lovely, 2line positive result. My honest, first reaction?  Speechless. I came out of the bathroom, handed the stick to my wonderful,  at the time boyfriend and said "I'm pregnant."

Honestly,  I was a bit upset by his reaction...because he didn't really have one. He was neither upset nor happy. And to me that's exactly how he seemed through out my entire pregnancy...

So I've decided to start blogging...

No. I don't think I am so important that people want to read about what I think, but who knows, there might be someone out there who values my opinion.
Since I am now a stay-at-home-mom (who would have ever though, huh) to an almost 3month old beautiful baby girl (see attached) Nadia Michelle Foster; I figured I have so much time on my hands and a lot of things to talk about regarding this new world of mommyhood that I've become a part of.
This blog will be uncensored, raw, honest and maybe occasionally contain pictures of me breastfeeding! No negativity will be welcomed, so if you disagree with me, please save my time and your energy, and do not respond!

Here's my cutie!
She just got her 2month shots in this picture!